


Agent 99 and the Husband

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 10:45:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1685522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s just a mostly anonymous place to go and express myself.  Who knew that 140 characters could be so cathartic?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agent 99 and the Husband

**Author's Note:**

> As soon as this came to me, I jumped on it. Not just because it’s my OTP but because I always imagined a pretty witty and awesome side of Erin Strauss would come out in social networking.

_July 15, 2013 6:19pm_

Long day. I'm ready for it to end and for me to get cozy with a bottle of wine. I mean a glass. #lush

_July 16, 2013 6:15am_

I love him but I hate having to wake him up in the morning. He can be an incorrigible grump. I thought my children moved out. #thehusband

_July 16, 2013 11:09am_

Budget meetings are the bane of my existence. Everything is about the almighty dollar. #govtsucks

_July 16, 2013 2:23pm_

Let’s keep it between us that I'm shopping for shoes online in my office. #peeptoestilettopump

_July 17, 2013 1:14pm_

Took a walk around the grounds with the Deputy Director, it’s hotter than Hades today. God Bless air conditioning. #asstdirector

_July 17, 2013 8:33pm_

On my front steps gasping after doing the 100 yd. dash to avoid getting soaking wet. Dog walker extraordinaire right here. #scruffandmudgie

_July 17, 2013 10:30pm_

Took a shower, had a cup of tea, did a little yoga, got laid, Ambien, bedtime. Goodnight world. #lifeisbeautiful

_July 18, 2013 10:15am_

Mo’ cadets, mo’ problems. It might not be too late for Plan C…tropical island and umbrella drinks. #academy

_July 18, 2013 11:42am_

My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend…for the 3rd time. If she finds this Twitter, tell her it’s a parody account. #motherhood

_July 18, 2013 7:11pm_

Reservations at DC Coast with two of my favorite men ever, @KDougFBI and he who will never tweet. Red wine, here I come. #FridayEve

_July 18, 2013 9:40pm_

Sometimes I just pretend to be asleep because he gets a boost from knowing I’d wake up to have sex with him. #thehusband

_July 19, 2013 6:19am_

Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, change what I can't accept, and the wisdom to know when to kill people. #Friday

_July 19, 2013 10:13am_

I've been at work for 90 minutes and I'm hiding in the bathroom. If I could get this smoke detector down they would be in trouble. #thegrindstone

_July 19, 2013 11:59am_

My mum is cooler than me and I love her so much. She takes a nothing day and suddenly makes it all seem worthwhile. #daughter #happy

_July 19, 2013 2:30pm_

Hot roast beef from Krupin’s courtesy of @KDougFBI. That man loves me and I love him back. #likeafathertome #lunchbreak

_July 19, 2013 4:33pm_

If he who does not tweet has to leave town tonight after I put up with him all week, I will be so unhappy. #sadface

_July 19, 2013 6:44pm_

Not staying late at work tonight. Going to be normal & run out of here like the building is on fire. I’ve got a date with two happy dogs. #bringontheweekend

_July 19, 2013 9:20pm_

Friday night with #thehusband, the dogs, wine, cheese, and _Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner_ on TCM. I’ll cry before the night ends. #relaxedmode

“What are you doing?” Dave asked. He was leaning his head on her shoulder, which was moving up and down as she did something with her phone.

“I'm tweeting.”

“What?”

“I'm tweeting.” Erin repeated.

“Are you serious?” Dave sat up and looked at her. He couldn’t help but smile. He loved when she wore her glasses and he wore his glasses. It might be cheesy and sentimental, but he just thought that they were perfectly middle aged and meant to be.

“Yes.”

“You have a Tweeter?” Dave asked.

“Twitter.” Erin replied.

“What?”

“Twitter, it’s called Twitter David, and yes I have one.”

“What's your screen name?”

“You're not allowed to follow me.” She shook her head.

“Scout’s honor.” He held up his hand. “What’s your screen name?”

“I thought of making it The Blonde Bitch, it’s not as if I haven’t been called that before. But I thought that might be a little harsh. Then I thought about Barnard Girl, but I haven’t been a girl in a long time. Then for a while I was Strossi218, which is our names and my birthday. That made me feel a little weird, like a name one of your groupies might use…”

“I think there is a Strossi Girl on rossirocks.net. She’s from Wichita, if memory serves.” Dave said.

“Penelope said you're not allowed on that site.” Erin glared at him. “You promised her, and me, that you wouldn’t go there anymore. Don’t make me start checking your laptop, David.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Anyway, I settled on Twitter name Agent 99. My Twitter page is called Overly Ambitious Blonde. It feels very me and that’s what this account is; it’s just me.”

“So what do you tweet about?”

“Everything.” Erin said. “I tweet about work, us, the kids, the dogs, Kirk…anything that comes to mind. Random things and things that make me smile. Good memories and sometimes bad ones, and lessons learned. It’s just a mostly anonymous place to go and express myself. Who knew that 140 characters could be so cathartic?”

“And you have a picture of yourself posted? Everyone knows it’s you?”

“Well I do use some code words, like about the job and I don’t use people’s names when I tweet about them. The avatar I use is me when I was in my twenties. I wanted to be me but not so recognizable.”

“I learn something new about you every day.” He said. “How long have you been tweetering? Twitting…no, that’s not right. _Tweeting_?”

“I actually started at the suggestion of my therapist. She thought it might be a good way to just get things out of my head, to make room for more things I suppose. She told me it was perfectly OK to talk about both nothing and everything on my twitter. So that’s what I do. It’s a very popular website. 

“Kirk is there, and we follow each other. I followed Penelope and she followed back. I follow the First Lady, the Vice-President, and the former Secretary of State. It’s a place for gossip, information, activism, and to just find like-minded people who can never get enough of Carly Simon or 19th century French literature. I bet you could create an account and have a half-million followers in a day. Beyoncé has like 6 million.”

“This might be the strangest conversation I've ever had in my life.”

“Put it in your next novel.” Erin said, smiling as she leaned to kiss him. “I didn’t mean to distract you from the movie.”

“We've seen it a million times, though it’s just as excellent as the first. What are you going to tweet about now?”

“It doesn’t work like that. I mean, it might for some people but I only tweet when I need to. It’s not a requirement; that would kill the original intent.” Erin put her phone on the nightstand. “I'm probably done for the night. It’s been a long week.”

“Tell me about it.” Dave kissed her shoulder and out his head back there. “I'm glad we get to be together this weekend.”

“Me too. I was worried you'd get called out on a case. I would’ve taken the train to New York, I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Now you don’t have to be.” He smiled.

“Oh, that reminds me. I'm just going to tweet one more thing and then we will get my undivided attention.”

Erin grabbed her phone again, opening the camera app on her screen page. She held it out and told Dave to smile. When he did, she snapped a picture.

“You don’t mind if the whole world sees us, do you?” she asked.

“I don’t mind at all.”

“OK.”

_July 19, 2013 9:52pm_

This bliss is nice work when we can get it. In bed, in love, infinity. #thehusband #weekend

She uploaded the picture and closed the app.

***


End file.
